Search Inside Yourself
Chapter Three - Mindfulness Conversation
Chapter Three of 'Search Inside yourself' by Chade-Meng Tan is about everyday mediation techniques away from 'the cushion' and introduces us to the following:
- Walking Meditation - While walking, focus your attention on the feelings and movements around your body; if the mind begins to wander, gently bring it back.
- Mindful Listening - Find a buddy, and buddy up! Focus all of your attention on listening to your buudy-companion and allow them to talk about something important to them for a short amount of time (3-5 minutes). When time is up, switch roles. If either person runs out of things to say, just sit silently and enjoy the bliss of mutual silence.
- Mindful Conversation - There are 3 components to mindful conversation: listening, looping & dipping
- Listening - As above.
- Looping - When 'Mindful Listening' time is up, repeat back to your buddy what you understood them saying. When you have finished, invite your buddy to provide feedback on any parts you may have missed out or misinterpreted. Continue to loop back and forth, until you are completely clear on how your buddy is feeling about the given topic. Then switch.
- Dipping - (Or more importantly not dipping) is resisting going off on your own train of thought while your buddy is talking. Distractions in one's own head are the main reason for one not listening. If any thoughts do enter the mind, acknowledge them and allow them to linger if they so wish, but DO NOT GET DISTRACTED and where possible, allow them to simply drift away.
The above meditation techniques can be practiced in either a formal or an improv/on-the-go basis. The benefit of diversifying your meditation practice and including these techniques is it makes you more aware of what is going on around you and how others around you are feeling.
Next time I am listening to friends and loved ones, I will try listening that little bit harder and avoid dipping (I am definately a serial dipper). This will make friends and loved ones feel more special and will put me in a better position to appreciate and enjoy every moment that much more. Less time thinking about the stresses of daily life, and more focus on enjoying life itself. Sounds perfect.
Cheers,
